If You’ve Experienced Any of This… Fire Your Tax Preparer Immediately

This is what a $25 tax return looks like. Clown included, refund not guaranteed.

Let’s be real — if you walked out of a tax appointment last season wondering if you got bamboozled, this blog’s for you. Maybe your return made no sense, the explanation was a shrug and a "you didn’t pay enough," and a few months later when you needed a copy — boom, ghosted. You’re not crazy. You probably did get scammed, ignored, or just handled by someone who shouldn’t be doing taxes for anyone besides their cat.

So here it is: the Tax Preparer Red Flag Survival Guide — served with sarcasm, some salt, and real stories from people who got torched by the wrong tax pro.

Lemonade Stand Tax Preparer

You ever see a $25 tax return sign taped to a lamppost like it’s a lost cat poster? Yeah — that guy.

If you walked past it, congrats. If you sat down with him? Yikes. This is the human equivalent of saying, "I found this guy on Craigslist who also does dental work.”

These folks don’t understand your taxes. They just know how to click 'Autofill' and pray. You’re better off filing it yourself online — at least then you only have yourself to blame.

The Magician (Now You See Them, Now You Don’t)

They were all smiles and promises… until CRA sent you a letter. Now they’ve pulled a Houdini. You call. You email. You send a smoke signal. Nothing.

Tax season’s over and so are they. You thought you were hiring a professional. Turns out, you hired a ghost with a printer.

The Illusionist: All Flash, No Refund

The office? Gorgeous. The return? Hot garbage.

They offered you espresso and a fancy seat. Then handed you a return that made you owe $2,000 you didn’t expect and couldn’t explain. When you asked why? Vague corporate babble. "It’s just how the numbers worked out."

Nope. If your gut says it’s off, it probably is. And no espresso machine on Earth makes up for that.

My Friend Can Do It Cheaper — And That’s the Problem

You know this guy. Everyone has one. Your friend’s cousin’s barber who “does taxes on the side.” It’s cheap, it’s quick, and it’s...a disaster waiting to happen.

The return looks fine — until CRA gently knocks on your financial door with a $900 reassessment because Captain Side Hustle forgot your tuition slip.

That $50 "deal" just became a very expensive math lesson.

The Franchise Mirage

You see the sign, you recognize the brand, you feel safe. Until the upsells start.

They sell you audit protection like it’s extended warranty on a toaster. Then, when CRA sends you a letter, you find out that "protection" means they might take your call. If it’s Tuesday. And Mercury’s in retrograde.

You didn’t pay for service — you paid for someone to wear a branded name tag while ignoring your file.

The Shit Stirrer

These are the real villains. They mess up your return, forget key slips, and when CRA reassesses you, they act like it’s CRA’s fault. “Oh yeah, CRA must be wrong.”

No. You were wrong.

I had a client hit with a $12,000 reassessment because their last preparer forgot a critical slip. And that tax pro just shrugged. No follow-up. No fix. Just vibes and gaslighting.

Honestly, if I could legally throw a T1 at their face like a ninja star, I would.

Real People, Real Screwed

Every single example above? Yep, came from real clients.

• The $25 stand on the sidewalk? I got told it was my "competition."

• Magicians that vanish? Clients come to me saying, "I don’t even have a copy of last year’s return."

• Fancy office, horrible results? Happens weekly.

• Cheap side hustlers? I see their mistakes all tax season.

• Big brands offering audit protection? I’ve had to go in and do the work they should’ve done.

• And the Shit Stirrer? Still makes my blood boil. That client’s $12K nightmare could’ve been avoided by giving a damn.

You Deserve Better (Seriously)

Look, tax season is already annoying. You don’t need extra chaos from someone who can’t handle your file without screwing it up or disappearing after April.

What you do need is someone who:

• Actually explains what’s going on

• Responds to your messages when CRA comes calling

• Doesn’t screw off once they get paid

• Isn’t using your return as practice for their cousin’s garage business

If any of this blog made you laugh, cringe, or have traumatic tax flashbacks — it’s time. Fire your preparer.

Then come talk to me. I’ll show you what it looks like when your return is actually done right — and your tax guy doesn’t vanish like a puff of audit-scented smoke.