Don’t Be That Type of Client: Tales from the Tax Trenches

My brain when you’re that type of client.

Some people ask for advice... and then ignore it.Some challenge professional work with Google logic.Some think the world revolves around their tax return.

If you just landed here — welcome. And if you're one of these client types... brace yourself. You’re about to get roasted.

🧠 The Spreadsheet Oracle

They come seeking help — usually impressed by the website, the vibe, or the clarity. But once numbers hit the table? Suddenly, they know better.

Despite clear explanations, they start comparing my professionally calculated return with whatever free software they found at 2AM. Then they start questioning everything — as if filing taxes is emotional. As if I sat there thinking, “Hmm… they were rude today. Let’s reduce that deduction for fun.”

Listen — they came for my expertise. And that’s what they got. I am not a slot machine where you could win a jackpot and other times you lose your money. I'm a professional. One who doesn't randomly punish or reward clients based on vibes.

If they want software optimism, they’re free to take their chances — but at that point, they’re just pulling the lever on the CRA Good Vibe slot machine. But don’t come crawling back when that number they were chasing turns into a reassessment. Mistakes can happen, sure — but the odds of my math being wrong? Slim to none. So don't be a Spreadsheet Oracle.

🙄 The Askhole

They come asking for advice — serious, specific, important stuff. And I give it to them. Real advice. Not fluff. Not vague bullshit. The kind of answer most people would get billed for.

And then?

They ignore it. Not just a little — they go and do the exact opposite. Or worse, they disappear, reappear weeks later, and wonder why everything’s on fire.

These are the “hear-no-logic” types. The ones who nod while I explain deductions, eligibility, or why CRA is going to tear their return apart…Then they go file based on a Reddit thread, something their buddy’s cousin’s accountant “mentioned once,” or the back of a cereal box.

I don’t hand out free tax strategy for fun — I do it because it saves people from costly, preventable mistakes. So if they weren’t going to listen, they could’ve saved us both time and asked Bing, their dog, or one of those Facebook “tax hacks” pages run by a guy named Brad who hasn’t filed in five years.

(Apologies if there’s an actual Brad doing this. Or maybe not — stop giving bad advice.)

Ignoring professional advice doesn’t make them clever — it makes them expensive.

So don’t be an Askhole. When a professional answers the question you asked, maybe… actually listen.

🧾 The Credential Karen

This one doesn’t question your math — she questions you.

It starts with skepticism. Fair enough. She doesn’t know me yet. But instead of checking the website or asking direct questions, she launches into a full-blown credential inquisition — and I don’t mean a light interview. I mean torches, scrolls, and holy relics.

“Where did you study?”“How long have you done this?”“Do you have a diploma? A LinkedIn page? Proof of life?”

Lady, this isn’t 13th-century France. I’m not on trial for heresy because I charge less than the tax firm in a downtown glass tower.

I walk her through the process. I explain the pricing model — the same one posted clearly on my site. But no, she’s stuck.

“I have an MBA, and I just don’t understand how your prices are this low.”

Really?

A Master’s in Business Administration — and still can’t grasp that value and cost aren’t the same thing?

Maybe they skipped that course.

But wait, the final blow:

“Do you have a LinkedIn page?”

Everyone has a LinkedIn page — even Brad, the same guy from earlier who hasn’t filed taxes in five years, runs a Facebook “tax hacks” group, and now calls himself a “Fractional CFO” between vape hits in his mom’s basement.

(Apologies to any decent Brads out there. But seriously, stop lying to the world, you're just lying to yourself.)

If she’s trusting profile templates over actual performance, she’s not looking for an expert — she’s looking for a brand logo and a comfort blanket.

So don’t be a Credential Karen.

👑 The Deadline Diva

They strut in like royalty at 11:46 PM on April 30th — crown crooked, receipts crumpled, and attitude set to urgent as hell.

Somehow, they think tax season is just background noise until they decide it matters. Forget the hundreds of people who filed on time — they believe their return should leap to the front of the line because… what? They’re special? Their refund has a crown on it?

They also seem to believe I’ve just been sitting around, sipping coffee and scratching my head, waiting for their majesty to finally arrive. Like I haven’t been running twelve-hour days, filing returns, answering questions, putting out fires, and keeping this beast of a business moving. Nah — in their mind, I’m apparently in full zen mode, burning incense and hoping someone last-minute gives me the honour of saving their butt.

These are the same people who would show up to a wedding uninvited, demand the microphone, and ask why the food isn’t gluten-free. And when I tell them there’s a line, they look stunned — like I’ve just denied royal birthright.

Let me be clear: I don’t give a damn if my clients are a student, a CEO, or the reincarnated soul of some king from the royal crusade — I run a FIFO system: first in, first out.

That means if they want to cut the line, they better bring the Royal Flush of all payment methods — because rush jobs come with rush pricing.

And no, I’m not turning my sleep schedule to dust because they decided to care about their taxes 14 minutes before the deadline. I don’t reward chaos. I reward respect.

So don’t be a Deadline Diva. You want the royal treatment? Show up like a grown adult — not a delusional drama queen with a plastic tiara and a file folder full of lies — at least one week before the deadline.

💬 Final Thoughts

Wondering if all of this is true?

Of course it is.

You think I’m making this up for entertainment? Nah — these are real people I’ve dealt with. They exist, they walk among us, and yes… some of them even come back the next year like nothing happened.

So if you’re one of them? Get your act together.

Filing taxes doesn’t have to be painful. I guide you, I gather what’s needed, I work my magic — and yes, you’re allowed to ask questions. But if you start challenging me without real knowledge, and your only backup is “Brad said…”, we’ve got a problem.

(And for the record — if there is an actual Brad out there who’s a Chartered pro giving solid advice… please listen to that Brad. He’s cool.)

I’m here to deliver real service, clear answers, and transparent pricing — not fight off Reddit theories and refund delusions.

So come correct. Let’s get your taxes done right. And please… don’t be that client.